The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

shepshepard’s thai noodle soup recipe

So, now that I have returned from thailand I now have major noodle soup withdrawals. For those of you unfamiliar with noodle soup, its a delicious, spicy, basic, cheap dish available on street corners all over Thailand. Commonly eaten at breakfast, its a great hangover cure. Here’s my own little version.

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October 5, 2008 Posted by | great ideas, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

For today’s hangover…a temporary cure – MR. SHOW

Nothing is worse than the monday following a fantastic 4 day vacation of eating, drinking, and….well drinking. So for today, day 2 of a hopefully only 2 day hangover, I give you an old Mr. Show clip to bring out a few minutes of pleasure in this sad, dark times.

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July 28, 2008 Posted by | tv | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coachella (Not So) Live Blogging – Days 2 & 3

Sorry to keep you waiting this many days to update about Saturday and Sunday’s events, but I have had neither the time nor energy to deal with it til now.

So, Saturday was truly the marathon Coachella day for the crew I was with; we managed to get up at a decent hour, grab some breakfast and head over to the Polo Fields at about 2pm.  We had already missed the Institubes DJs, Surkin and Para one, but we got there just in time for Kavinsky.  The crowd was still sparse, but it built up over the course of the next hour as he threw down his brand of dark, 80’s tinged techno.  Imagine Giorgio Moroder playing with an Atari 2600 in the midst of a bad shroom trip.  We then went and grabbed ourselves some beer and lunch and attempted to go see a bit of MGMT at the Gobi tent, but it was packed and overflowing.  Having no desire to stand in the sun outside of the tent 75 yards away from the stage, we said fuck it and went back to the dance tent to await the coming of the German Electro monster known as Boys Noize.  I had never seen him play before and I was amazed.  He absolutely shredded, and considering it was still the middle of the day, the tent was packed.  He played this one song none of us had ever heard before, this big room-destroying tune that seriously had the crowd marching and screaming.  It was intense.  Needing an ear-break, we sat down and enjoyed Erol Alkan’s set from the back corner of the tent, aided by some fruit smoothies (and vodka).  After Erol was Hot Chip, who played the dance tent with their full band playing nonstop through the hour like a DJ set.  The place was packed and the vibe was amazing; everybody smiling, dancing, singing (“I am Ready, I am Ready for the Floor…”).  Superb.  Went and grabbed some organic goodies from the food stands, and some malted goodies from the beer tent before sitting in the corner of the main beer gardens to mellow out and watch Kraftwerk.  They weren’t too exciting, but nice and spacey and perfect for the sunset.  We checked out Mark Ronson’s set briefly, which was cool because his full band continued bringing up new outside singers for almost every song.  Ricky Wilson from the Kaiser Chiefs, Jamie Reynolds from the Klaxons, and even Kenna (who is a R&B/pop singer I have worked with at my studio) all came up to sing while Ronson played guitar, smoked cigarettes, and basically looked like a cool motherfucker.  The last two bands of the night were the most hyped, and both at the main stage.  Portishead, who is just releasing their their 3rd album (after like 10 years) was reaally great.  They played a bunch of the fan favorites of of their first album Dummy, and Beth Gibbons’ voice was just gorgeous.  Next up was Prince, who played for almost 2 hours and was absolutely incredible.  He has so much energy, he is amazing on guitar, and has so much swagger; he is truly a great entertainer.  He brought out Sheila E and Morris Day to play with him, and though at times the set did slow when they played some gospel-style shit, they rocked through a 7 minute version of “Little Red Corvette” that had people in the 15,000 strong crowd singing at the top of their lungs.  fantastic (though it would have been better if I hadnt had to pee the entire set.  thank god for gatorade bottles.)

After 11 hours of festival-ing in the brutal desert sun, we did what any sensible people would do, which was of course continuing drinking and partying until the wee hours of the morning.  (Sleep is for the weak.)  We arose around 2pm, ate some chicken wings, had some pineapple and gin smoothies, had our EMT friends give us some saline IV drips to kill our hangovers (seriously) and headed back to the show at about 430p.

Like the past two days, our main desire Sunday was to stay in the dance tent.  When we got there Booka Shade were playing live on an electronic drum set and a rack of synthesizers and sequencers; very cool, groovy and fun.  Wasn’t really feeling Danny Tenaglia’s set next, so we managed to meet up with an old friend of ours (who gave us VIP wristbands) and went to grab some food and cocktails.  

The remainder of the lineup in the tent that night was absolutely ridiculous if you are into the type of Electro that my friends and I listen to.  Modeselektor, Simian Mobile Disco, and Chromeo all (in a row) absolutely destroyed the crowd (which was growing larger by the minute).  Luckily the VIP bar was directly outside the tent, so we were able to run in between sets and gobble down drinks (or in Micah’s case, jump/fall over the fence, be welcomed by a round of applause, and then gobble down cocktails).  Justice was the headliner of the night, and the only act playing anywhere on the grounds at that time.  We had an excellent spot staked out to dance, and dance we did.  The curtain pulls back and there are these stacks of Marshall cabinets 5 tall on either side of this platform bearing their trademark glowing cross.  Their ominous opener “Genesis” starts and people just start going apeshit.  It was incredible, definitely one of the best sets I have ever seen, just tearing through all their songs, remixes, and a couple choice classic electro/disco cuts…outstanding.

After the show we made it back to the house, drank and hung out in the hot tub for a few hours and passed out.  The next morning was extremely brutal and the drive back to civilization was extremely difficult, but all in all it was an amazing weekend.

Though my ears are still ringing.

April 30, 2008 Posted by | Music, news, random shite, rants | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Terrible idea

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I found out today that Jelly Belly, maker of about 300 varieties of inedible jelly beans (buttered popcorn? jalapeno? really? Fuck You) have announced that they are releasing a new caffeinated variety of bean called the “Extreme Sport Bean.” You know, come to think of it, I’m pretty sure there is already a bean whose express purpose is to keep you awake. Oh yeah, the COFFEE BEAN.

Seriously, who are they marketing this to? Is the addition of the caffeinated jelly bean into the market really going to sway long-time coffee drinkers into forgoing their usual Starbucks enema? Jelly beans are still entirely made of sugar (and there is no “Diet” variety) so it isn’t like they are healthier than a Diet Coke/Pepsi. Maybe I’m too biased because I have never truly enjoyed jelly beans in the first place, but aren’t Jelly Bellys (and most candy in general) for (or at least marketed most aggressively towards) kids? We already have chocolate-chip-fudge-caramel frappuccinos and energy drinks of all types and sizes readily available to kids, do we really want their candy to be caffeinated now too?

“But Uppity Bastard, these beans are ‘formulated with carbohydrates, electrolytes, and vitamins C and E.'” Well great, next Saturday morning when I’m lying on my couch in a heap of blankets sweating out the gallon of bourbon I guzzled the night before, instead of a glass of water or a delicious Fierce Melon Gatorade, I will just down a few handfuls of these little bastards.

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Someone please call the University of Florida and let them know that Gatorade is now obsolete; get buckets full of these fuckers onto every college and pro field in the nation. I’m sure it’s actually much more entertaining to see hordes of no-neck behemoths hopped up on sugar and caffeine trying to kill each other than it is seeing well hydrated athletes battling as they normally would anyhow.

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March 7, 2008 Posted by | random shite, rants, sports | , , , | Leave a comment