The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

I bet they have awesome counselors

When I was younger I used to go to all kinds of camps; basketball, baseball, outdoorsy shit.  But I never got to go to a camp remotely like this one that happened in Tampa Bay, Florida last weekend.  And if I did, I probably wouldn’t have blown off so many of the activities.  I mean you can only make so many macaroni pictures.

Porn star Courtney Cummz (I bet that’s not her real name…link is NSFW) will be showing 2 dozen people who dropped $4 g’s a head everything that goes into the porn business in the first ever Porn Camp.  Now porn camp is a lot like Jesus Camp, but not at all and a million times better.  Because instead of only talking about Jesus you only talk about sex, and everything that Jesus Camp says is a sin will probably get you extra credit with Counselor Cummz.

The people behind Courtney in this endeavor (both literally and figuratively…get it, cause she does it doggy style so much, hilarious), are referring to the weekend as a seminar to, I don’t know, put some air of professionalism on a weekend of paying for hardcore sex (cough…prostitution).  The “seminar” will cover everything from how much porn stars should get paid (hint, it should always be more for double penetration), to set design (motel room or house in the Valley with decor trapped in the coked out 80’s), to full on “acting.”  I assume it is a very, uh, hands on event.

Head Counselor Cummz is more than qualified to mold these aspiring thespians as she has starred in a litany of films, including Whack Jobs and Face Invaders.  So the young studs and starlets will be getting excellent advice on how to get paid to fuck on film.  But seriously, how is this legal?  I mean they had it in a freaking hotel conference room, what if there are vacationing six year olds staying there for Disney World.  I am not surprised something like this exists at all because really, nothing sells like sex, but Porn Camp definitely is an intriguing concept.  I just wish I could see the type of things they make in arts and crafts; Popsicle stick dildos?  Pine cone butt plugs?  Those sound painful…painfully sexy, rawr.  On second thought, maybe they will skip that activity.

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Head Counselor Cummz —–>

(get it, head, because she gives so much head…god I’m brilliant)

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April 3, 2008 Posted by | news, NSFW, random shite | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“I’m going to Baby-Sit your vagina”

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The new season of Human Giant, the MTv sketch comedy show, is premiering on March 11th. Although in most instances MTv makes me want to hit myself in the head with my own shoe, I have seen many episodes of this show from last season and it is actually quite hilarious [it also gets points for having a Death From Above 1979 song as its theme-music. Rawk.]. Either way, here is a sneak preview of a skit from the new season, starring the show’s cast [Aziz Ansari, Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer] and Will Arnett, of Arrested Development fame, among other things. I really don’t how they are going to be able to broadcast this on basic cable, but I am grateful. NSFW.

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Sorry Mom.

March 6, 2008 Posted by | NSFW, tv | , , , , , , | Leave a comment