The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

Well, it is kind of used…

Social Services in Germany have taken custody of a 7 month old baby whose parents tried to sell on eBay.  The opening bid; 1 Euro, or $1.57 for my non-conversionists.  Wow, sounds like quite the deal.  Surprisingly the parents did not receive a single bid in the 2 and half hours that the baby was up for auction.  I think people were just waiting until time was almost up to get that last bid in.  The best part about this story (besides the obvious) is the ad itself: “offering my nearly new baby for sale as it has gotten too loud.  It is a male baby, nearly 28 inches long and can be used either in a baby carrier or a stroller.”

Not surprisingly, this came from the Bavarian region of Germany who continues to amaze me.  My favorite part of this is that the ad tells you that the baby could be used in a stroller or a baby carrier, it is such a versatile product.  God bless the internet, just think back in the day if you didn’t want your baby you had to throw it in a dumpster, now you can get paid for it in a competitive shopping environment.  I can’t believe no one bid on it.  Stupid people, wouldn’t know a good deal if it hit them in the face, or spit up on their shoulder.

May 24, 2008 Posted by | news, random shite | , , , , | 1 Comment

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this got him so much ass in Germany.

March 24, 2008 Posted by | random shite | , , | Leave a comment

bavaria: more beer, less surgery

Note to self: never have surgery performed in Hochfranken, Bavaria. I honestly do not even know how a surgical TEAM, (not just one doctor, an entire team), could screw up this badly. A German woman is suing a hospital who botched (huge understatement) her operation. She was originally scheduled to have an operation on her leg and woke up to find out she had been outfitted with a brand new anus! And no that is not a new hybrid from Toyota.

I understand that mistakes happen in hospitals, people’s charts get messed up and the wrong procedure can be performed. But “New Butthole Surgery” (that is the technical term of course) seems like it would be a pretty substantial operation. You don’t just take the original anus out of the body and plug in a new one like a car’s fuse or something. I cannot even imagine how upsetting, not to mention completely shocking that would be to wake up to. “Wow, my leg still hurts, but my ass has never felt better.”

The hospital has suspended the surgical team who made this little boo boo, and like I mentioned the woman has sued. I have worn a tie before, so that pretty much makes me qualified to discuss the legal merits of her case and in my expert opinion, she has a good chance of winning.

Judge: “Will the witness please present her evidence to the court.”

Chick with new, unwanted, ass: “Certainly your honor, I went into the hospital to get this fixed (holds up a picture of a leg), and I came out with a new one of these (shows judge her new pooper).”

How do you even argue against that?

Bavaria needs to stick to what they are good at, chocolate and beer. Oh, and the real kicker….the woman still needs her leg operation and needless to say, she is looking for a different hospital to do it.

quack-doctor.jpg

(thanks Steph)

March 19, 2008 Posted by | random shite | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment