The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life



These geniuses at (WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED THAT BACON HAD IT’S OWN WEBSITE?!) have constructed a Turducken (chicken-inside-a-duck-inside-a-turkey) covered in bacon.  Not just on the outside either.  The individual pieces of Chicken and duck inside the 15lb Turkey are wrapped as well.  Click the bacontoday link above for the story and some awesome pictures.  In other news, for dinner tonight I am making a Pastrami sandwich stuffed with tacos stuffed with Ramen noodles.  I am Top Chef.

*bonus Bacon-related picture:



November 22, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This Chick needs Sperm

This blogger chick is advertising on her site that she is in need of some baby gravy.

” In less than two weeks, I will be ovulating, which as everyone should know is primetime for baby making.  The problem is that I don’t yet have a partner for this process. Now, I’m not looking for a source of child support or a baby-daddy in the sense that he should have any supportive role in the pregnancy or in raising the child, I just need some good, hearty seed. ”


Not a problem Miss, we here at Uppity Bastard are more than willing to help you during your time of need. We even provide you with some variety.  Look at these handsome Bastards:


the Uppity Bastard, c.1968


TurtleDog, file photo


ShepShepard, headshot


Expect a package within the next few days.  I’ll be using tupperware to keep everything nice and fresh.

September 24, 2008 Posted by | great ideas, news, random shite | , , , , , | Leave a comment