The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

holy shit dude

November 7, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a comment

Fifty years of Popular Songs Condensed into Single Sentences

by Marc Haines

[from McSweeneys]

The Beatles, “I Want to Hold Your Hand”

I want to do it with you.

– – – –

Marvin Gaye, “Let’s Get It On”

I want to do it with you.

– – – –

Led Zeppelin, “Whole Lotta Love”

I want to do it with you.

– – – –

James Blunt, “You’re Beautiful”

I want to do it with you.

– – – –

Sir Mix-a-Lot, “Baby Got Back”

I want to do it.

– – – –

Elvis Presley, “Hound Dog”

You’re doing it with everyone.

– – – –

R. Kelly, “I Believe I Can Fly”

I believe I want to do it with you.

– – – –

Patsy Cline, “Crazy”

I want to do it with you so much I’m going fucking nuts.

– – – –

Frank Sinatra, “Strangers in the Night”

I’m drunk and I want to do it with you.

– – – –

The White Stripes, “My Doorbell”

Using metaphor, I want to do it with you.

– – – –

Little Richard, “Good Golly Miss Molly”

I’m doing it with Miss Molly, and she’s totally into it.

– – – –

Duran Duran, “Rio”

I’d love to do that chick dancing on the sand.

– – – –

The Beatles, “Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?”

I’d like to do it with you right now.

– – – –

Carly Simon, “You’re So Vain”

We used to do it, but then you did it with someone else, and now I’m not going to do it with you, although I wish we were still doing it.

– – – –

Pulp, “Common People”

I once met a stuck-up European who wanted to do it with me.

– – – –

Radiohead, “Creep”

I’m filled with self-loathing, and, though outwardly I hate everything you represent, I want to do it with you.

– – – –

Kate Bush, “Wuthering Heights”

I’m an 18th-century fictional character and I want to do it with another 18th-century fictional character.

– – – –

Bob Dylan, “Blowin’ in the Wind”

The Man is currently doing it to you.

– – – –

Elvis Presley, “Jailhouse Rock”

Incarcerated men will on occasion do it with each other.

– – – –

Meat Loaf, “I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)”

Hey! You won’t believe what this one chick said while I was doing it with her!

– – – –

Kings of Leon, “Sex on Fire”

I did it with you, and now it hurts when I pee.

– – – –

Céline Dion, “My Heart Will Go On”

Even your death has not stopped me wanting to do it with you.

– – – –

AC/DC, “You Shook Me All Night Long”

We did it yesterday.

November 7, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Of Montreal covers “Day Man” from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Of Montreal is currently one of my favorite bands.  In this short clip they cover Electric Dream Machine’s glorious “Day Man” from the IASiP episode “Sweet Dee dates a Retarded Person.”

November 6, 2008 Posted by | Music, random shite | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“Jesus thinks I’m Cool”, the Uppity Bastard knows better.

from the Amazon page:

Product Description

Focus on biblical truths that free people to express their true personalities.

Be strong to stand up to the constant lies from Satan regarding inferiority, lack of self-acceptance and peer pressure.

Become the unique and beautifully designed person God has created to reflect Jesus Christ to the world.

Thirteen weeks of challenging and inspiring readings encourage young people to apply the power of their faith and value in Christ to the issues facing them at school, at work, with friends and family.

 

Continue reading

October 29, 2008 Posted by | great ideas, random shite | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You too, can be like Don Draper

SNL strikes again

Don Draper is pretty much the greatest character on television.

October 26, 2008 Posted by | random shite, tv | , , , , | Leave a comment

DO NOT WANT

this is Soulja Boy’s new video, for his song “Turn My Swag On”.  I am posting it up here without even watching it, because I know it’s going to be god-awful.  Here are my reasons:

1. Soulja Boy < Moist Bread

2. Working with Pop and Hip Hop Rappers/Writers/Producers every day, the amount of times I hear the word “Swag” in any given week is rivaled only by the amount of times I hear the word “Nigga.”  So many times that both have lost all meaning.

3. I hate you

enjoy

October 25, 2008 Posted by | Music, random shite | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I will lose all faith in America…

If this happens. 

Come on, as if politics and our elected “representatives” don’t make this country look like a bunch of assclowns enough as is.

October 24, 2008 Posted by | news | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

La Diabla Hamburguesa Venezolanisima !!!

i want one

October 23, 2008 Posted by | random shite | , , , | Leave a comment

home from work and watching the South Park movie…

…and reminded of this, which I first came across a few years ago.  This is a memo sent from Matt Stone to the censors at Viacom, about the final cut of the movie:

the whole page

Zoom of the text

October 22, 2008 Posted by | movies, random shite, tv | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Emo Shark

hates Mondays

October 21, 2008 Posted by | random shite | , , , , | Leave a comment