The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

HEAD TRAUMA and 10 things to do with it

find out how

So today at work, I had the pleasure of being attacked by a truck door. Ok, not attacked, but having some retard who wasn’t paying attention slam it on my head while I trying to undo a ratchet strap.  No, I’m not crippled but I am experiencing signs of tardness.  So I give you:

Top Ten things to do with head injury

10. get into minor fenderbenders, convince the other driver they were at fault, steal cash, and puppies.

9. think of names for your next weeks additional body part. so far I have odd ball, testicle, and robert.

8. like 10 but with neighbors doors and cats

7. did you know that the only medication the doctor gave me was 200mg ibuprofen tablets that cost my works insurance $50 for a bottle?  (when I asked the doctor how strong Tylenol is he said 500mg.  Well done American health care system.)

5. watch  the O.C. without a single seed of shame.

4.enjoy chapstick.

3. Convince girlfriend the only cures are: ice packs, matza ball soup, mad max, starship troupers, an d handjobs (riggerous activity is to be avoided, doctors orders)

2.learn random scientific facts then when people ask you what happened repeat them, giving the impression that your sudden head trama has made you smarter.

1. write blogs that may of may not be funny to you but hilarious to me.


October 8, 2008 - Posted by | random shite | , , , , ,


  1. Baby had a boom boom.

    Comment by uppitybastard | October 8, 2008 | Reply

  2. DamageBaby.

    And really, how is your blogging name not Dangerbaby?

    Comment by jason | October 9, 2008 | Reply

  3. hmmm..i think i’m in love with you.

    Comment by Anna Gnome | October 14, 2008 | Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: