The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

booty call software for the next generation

Everyone has heard of the term “Beer Goggles.”  In fact, I would guess that the majority of the people who read this have fallen victim to those specs of one night seduction at one time or another.  Wouldn’t it be great if there was some thing that made us reexamine what we were about to do right before we did it?  Something that makes you take a step back and check just how drunk you really are?  Well in this age of BlackBerrys and texting and email on cell phones, the problem has evolved into a more dangerous beast.

Picture with me if you will…you are at the bar, it is getting late and no one of opposite sex (or same sex if that is your thing) wants to accompany you to your studio apartment in Park LaBrea.  Instead of calling it a night and acknowledging that this evening, Jack Daniels and his friends were the stronger men, you whip out your phone and start scrolling through your contacts.  You fire off an email or a text to your friend from school/work who you have been flirting with for the past two weeks figuring now is as good as a time as any to “see wht sHe is upp Tto and if she wantss to meeet uP.”  You look at your watch, it is 2:35 am.  You have just done our generation’s equivalent of the drunk dial, likely causing yourself tremendous humilation with the unfortunate recipients of your late night “romantic inquiries”.

The programmers at Google have created something to stop the embarrassment we all feel the next morning when you look at your sent message folder hungover and trying to piece together the night.  They have created for Gmail, “Mail Goggles.”  The program is designed to test your sobriety before you send a message by requiring you to answer a series of math problems (68-39? or 11×3?) in a limited time period.  If you fail, the program doesn’t let your message go through, thus saving you an awkward explanation later on.

I personally think this is hilarious, regardless if you even take into account the actual or nonexistent usefulness of it.  If they could put a feature like this on cell phones I bet it would really work.  Even if you got the questions right, maybe the pause will be all the time you need to decide against sending a text to that “girl that you used to hook up with but then stopped calling and randomly ran into 4 months later so you felt that her interest in you had been rekindled and she would surely like to get together and give you a late night drunken blow job for 45 minutes.”  In all reality most people will still send the message because, c’mon, you’re hammered…boobs.

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October 7, 2008 - Posted by | random shite | , , , , , , , ,

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