The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

Soccer is kind of stupid

Today the UEFA Champions League final was played in Moscow between two English powerhouses Manchester United and Chelsea. I lived in London during the last World Cup and I thoroughly enjoyed soccer, or football if that is your preference. However, I watched about a third of this game (missing both goals mind you) and decided that any enjoyment I really got from this sport may have been premature, or alcohol induced.

First off, they played for 90 minutes and it was tied. Then they played for 20 more minutes and still no one scored. Common sense dictates that they should keep playing until someone legitimately scores again, right? Well this is one of the main reasons why soccer is stupid. The CHAMPIONSHIP of EUROPE was decided by penalty kicks. How can this possibly be a legit way to determine the CHAMPION of a sport, it essentially turns it into a game of chance. This would be like the Super Bowl ending in a tie and the game being decided by field goals. Or if the NBA championship was decided by a game of horse. It’s a fucking joke.

Second, the amount of flopping that occurs in an average game of soccer makes me want to vomit. These players are so blatantly not injured and every time a gust of wind goes by they act like they have been shot in the knee cap. The looks of pure pain and anguish on their face looks like they have their testicles in a vice. It’s embarrassing to watch.

Therefore, all the affinity I had for the world cup may have disappeared. Maybe I was just super drunk the whole time which made it seem more interesting. How can you play for two hours and decide a winner this way?

UPDATE – did you know that these two famous English football clubs are owned by a Russian and an American respectively, nice work England.

UPDATE – Chelsea’s captain John Terry missed a wide open penalty kick to win…and this thrilling conclusion continues with a second round of penalty kicks.

UPDATE – Manchester United won during the second round of penalties. A bunch of people in England are happy and a bunch of other people in England are very sad now.

Advertisements

May 21, 2008 - Posted by | sports | , , , , , , , ,

4 Comments »

  1. “Manchester United won during the second round of penalties. A bunch of people in England are happy and a bunch of other people in England are very sad now. Everyone from every other country doesn’t care that much.”

    Do you realize that basically every other country in the world’s national sport is soccer?

    “Chelsea’s captain John Terry missed a wide open penalty kick to win…and this garbage continues with a second round of penalty kicks.”

    First off, it was clearly not wide open (how did Van der Sar save that last one?) and he slipped…give the guy a break. If it wasn’t pouring and the pitch wasn’t in wretched condition by the end of the game, he probably would’ve made it.

    “Common sense dictates that they should keep playing until someone legitimately scores again, right? Well this is one of the main reasons why soccer is stupid. The CHAMPIONSHIP of EUROPE was decided by penalty kicks. How can this possibly be a legit way to determine the CHAMPION of a sport, it essentially turns it into a game of chance. This would be like the Super Bowl ending in a tie and the game being decided by field goals. Or if the NBA championship was decided by a game of horse.”

    Although there is a lot of chance involved, it still takes a lot of skill to hit a soccerball into the top 90. Also, both teams got their chance to score a goal. You have any better ideas then just play until doomsday? True, it’s a cruel system, but it is still thrilling to watch.

    Comment by scienceguy288 | May 21, 2008 | Reply

  2. most of what I say should be taken pretty lightly, but the main point is that there is no conceivable way that a champion should be decided by something like penalty kicks. Bring back the golden goal rule, reward the team who is conditioned the best, so yes, keep playing. Both teams had a bunch of opportunities down the stretch, with the field getting messed up someone would have gotten the break they needed. It is a shitty way to win (or lose) the European Championship (a very big deal I agree) in this manner. What is much more thrilling is seeing the teams battle it out on the field. I think penalty kicks are fine in regular season games or lower levels of playoffs, it is a terrible way to award a championship.

    Comment by turtledog | May 22, 2008 | Reply

  3. Yeah, I agree with that thing about the golden goal, but there naturally has to be some limit to this. I remember one game before PKs actually lasted so long that it was decided by a coin toss. Now that is really a matter of luck.

    Comment by scienceguy288 | May 22, 2008 | Reply

  4. Looks like another american is getting threatened by soccer’s penetration into the american culture. Yet another nationalistic rant against the foreign sport terrorism of sawker.

    Comment by James | May 22, 2008 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: