The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

I just don’t get it

I’m sure you have all heard the term “he fell off the wagon,” or “he is back on the wagon” when discussing an alcoholic or recovering alcoholic etc.  Now I for one have never been comfortable with this expression.  Last night I was discussing it with my friends and we all came to the same conclusion; that the wagon analogy probably needs to go.  It seems useless and outdated and doesn’t make any sense.  Who the hell rides wagons anyway?

Now I’m pretty sure the proper usage is to say that someone fell off the wagon when they start to drink again.  This statement implies that you are hanging out ON the wagon when you are sober.  Personally, I wonder why anyone would want to ride around on a boozeless wagon?  I feel like the only way anyone would cart around town on a wagon, figuratively or literally, is if there were drinks available.  I mean, wagons are bumpy and probably kind of boring so I would want something to take the edge off.  I have been on many different varieties of booze-cruise type vehicles from trolleys, to busses, to boats, to the absolute ultimate, the Land Shark, and each of these events was significantly improved because of the ability to get hammered.  If you fell off the wagon (or bus or trolley etc.) it was because you were too drunk at the time, not because of any conscious decision to rejoin the non-wagon riding, alcohol consuming public.

I think I learned somewhere that the origin of this statement came from old times where the booze was brought to the town on a wagon and it is based on that.  But that still does not really explain why you would be sober on the wagon.  If the wagon was filled with booze then why the hell wouldn’t you be drinking it?  There were no DUI laws in wagon times, un-cork the bottle and whip those donkeys.  If anyone knows the real reason behind this ridiculous expression to inform the public of one’s sobriety I would love to hear it.  In the mean time I will be hanging out NOT on the wagon seeing double.

That wagon sucked, the ground is way better.

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May 10, 2008 - Posted by | random shite | , , , , , ,

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