The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

Musician’s Legal Roundup

In honor of myself becoming TurtleDog Esq., here is Wednesday’s collection of rappers and singers getting in and out of legal troubles.

DMX was arrested for speeding, reckless driving, and driving on a suspended license: Rapper DMX informed people today that contrary to popular belief, he is not dead.  X was giving his 1966 Chevy Nova some gas on an Arizona highway when he was clocked at 114 mph in a 65 zone.  The funniest part about this story is a toss up between someone deciding DMX getting a speeding ticket is even news nowadays, or his real name; Earl Simmons. – “Earl Simmons gonna give it you, gonna give it you ya, ruff!”

Amy Winehouse was arrested for drug possession: This story is filed in the same folder with other headliners like; “Sky reported to be blue,” “the ocean: full of water,” and “Turtledog named most handsome devil on the planet.”  But really this story would be way more interesting and ground breaking if it turned out Amy Winehouse was NOT on drugs.

R. Kelly trial to start….almost:  The R. Kelly trial relating to alleged sexual encounters that allegedly involved 13 year old girls and a 32 year old Kelly, which allegedly may or may not involve him peeing on them and video taping it, was set to begin jury selection.  But then it got delayed again surprising no one involved with the case, but surprising the rest of the world that this story actually still existed.  This case has been caught in the court system for so long that the young girls involved with it now have kids of their own that R. Kelly is peeing on and having sex with….allegedly of course.

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May 8, 2008 - Posted by | Music, news | , , , , , , , , , ,

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