The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

Carmelo Anthony: better at basketball than drunk driving

Following the Denver Nuggets 111-94 victory over the Houston Rockets on Sunday, Carmelo Anthony did what any big time NBA baller would do after a 3-14 shooting and 11 point performance…He got shit-faced and drove home. Around 4 a.m. he was pulled over for being unable to stay in drive in one lane and for keeping his brights on.

Professional athletes are stupid and I will tell you why.  In fact, most rich people can be lumped into this statement I am about to make.  If you are getting paid $13 million dollars this year, like Mr. Anthony is, and you decide to go out and have a good time, it is INEXCUSABLE to ever be caught driving drunk.  I’m really anti drinking and driving period and it gets me especially mad when the person doing it has absolutely no excuse whatsover for not being able to find a safe way home.  You are trying to tell me that Melo couldn’t afford a cab?  Shit, screw a cab, get one of those big stretch hummer joints so you can spread out a little bit.  At the very least if you want people to see in your hot ride, have one of your stupid friends drive you, isn’t that the point of being a rich athlete with an entourage?

I’ve been to Denver and therefore I know a few things about it.  1. It is not that big and I’m pretty sure Melo could have easily swung the 15 dollar tab that would have got him home. 2. There are like 7 black people in the whole city, so a 6 foot 9 dude with corn rows driving a $120,000 Mercedes in the middle of a two lane road with his brights on will definitely arouse the suspicion of Denver’s finest.  Seriously though, I’m broke and I get cabs everywhere because I feel like getting a DUI would suck.  I just don’t understand why countless celebrities constantly get caught doing this.  Maybe they think that they are too important or something to really have to follow the laws of us little people.  If I was the judge in this case, or anyone like it, I would give these rich assholes the absolute maximum penalty that the offense can carry.  It will be great when one dumb athlete kills someone while driving wasted because they wanted to make sure that everyone saw them leaving the club in their fly Maybach on 22s because they could not justify the expense of paying for a driver.  Even if your lame friend drove you we still know you bought the car you egotistical jerk.  Fuck these guys.  I’m in a bad mood today, I hate Monday.

I don’t need to drive in one lane on the road, cause I can drive to the basket.  Taxi?  Hell no, do you know how much it costs to keep my braids looking this fly?

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April 14, 2008 - Posted by | rants, sports | , , , , , ,

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