The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

RANTS – the destruction of the english language

Let me first start by saying I am not a professor or the english language. Thanks to my public school education, I have the spelling of an 8 year-old, the grammar of gang member, and the vocabulary of truck stop junkie. But as the current state of the English language shames me, I feel it is my duty to protect it. Remember, I am not angry, merely the vessel from which anger may stream.

So this is the new hollywood promotion, great right? But what the fuck does this sign say? Seriously? I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of punctuation missing, like a “” or , or – or something (I use the symbols because I don’t know the names). I’m guessing its supposed to say one of two things: YOU SUCK, SARAH MARSHALL or “YOU SUCK” – SARAH MARSHALL.

Now, either or these choices would be acceptable practices in the english language, telling us the reader that the words YOU SUCK are being addressed to OR by Sarah Marshall. However, the sign doesn’t say that; it reads, YOU SUCK SARAH MARSHALL meaning Sarah Marshall is not the object which you are addressing but rather the object on which you are sucking. This is not a quote or comment but instead a statement to the person choices of things you enjoy to suckle. Either way, this sign is retarded, and thank you hollywood for making us dumberer.

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April 11, 2008 - Posted by | rants, Uncategorized | , , , , ,

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