The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

best news ever

Oh happiest of all time happy days. Do you have a “Cover Girl?” Is your day not complete without a little “Oh oh owweho, oh oh oh oh?” Can you not deal with people unless they are “Hangin’ Tough?” Well if you answered yes to any of these questions I have some fantastic news for you. New Kids on the Block are reuniting after being completely disbanded for the last 14 years. The fellas are now all pushing 40 so the name may not be as appropriate anymore and there have been talks of calling the group “Slightly Middle Aged Men on the Cul de Sac.”

I seriously cannot even believe this. How can this possibly be a good idea? For one thing, if you were born after 1988, you most likely don’t even know who this group is. You don’t hear of any New Edition reunions, or even N’Sync for that matter, so how would this boy band reuniting after almost 2 DECADES make sense. I grew up right in the prime of NKOTB‘s popularity and there is nothing, and I mean nothing that would compel me to check out their new material or worse see them shuffle around on stage.

Supposedly Donnie Wahlberg was the final hold out, but after much persuasion from his homies Jordan, Danny, Joey and Jonathan, he jumped right into the project. Donnie even went as far as writing 80% of the new material with Joey and Jordan. Donnie said that he “had no interest of going on a nostalgia tour and singing the same old material.” Then adding that he had no idea what the definition of “nostalgia” was. Besides, we don’t want the NKOTB to get on stage without new material, it would be way too gimmicky to ask them to sing their 20 year old hits. I mean, this is going to be serious music, you better recognize.

The group plans to release an album and go on tour. A fucking tour??? When was the last time anyone paid to see these guys on stage? Jonathan Knight has been a REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER for the last 14 years, but I’m sure he will be able to jump right back into the swing of things, as the skills will most definitely translate. This is the my favorite story I have heard in a long time. Just the other day I was thinking to myself, “wouldn’t it be awesome if there was some sort of New Kids on the Block renaissance, I think that is the direction music really needs to be going.” Gee, I guess dreams do come true.

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The group plans on touring, until one of them breaks a hip and the others yell at the fans to get off of their lawn.

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April 3, 2008 - Posted by | great ideas, Music, news, random shite | , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. OH SWOON!

    I am pretty sure that I still have my NKOTB bedsheets in a box in my attic somewhere. I’ll be there. Trust.

    Comment by Mona | April 7, 2008 | Reply


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