The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

does this still count as being in the mile high club?

One more funny story before I leave “work.”  File this lawsuit under sexytime.  A 21 year old Texas woman (we will just call her Mary)  is suing American Airlines for $200,000 alleging that the employees on her flight from Dallas to Los Angeles failed to protect her from a certain gentleman caller.

The suit alleges that a male passenger moved into the seat next to Mary while she was sleeping on the flight.  Mary stated that she awoke about 20 minutes before the plane landed and was somewhat surprised (understatement) to see this unidentified suitor was “staring at her as he masturbated.

But wait, it gets soooo much better.

Mary turned away in shock and embarrassment and as she ran her fingers through her hair, “she noticed a substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance”
that is safe to say, was not hair gel.  The woman then began to cry and allegedly none of the Airline staff would help her.  According to the lawsuit, a passenger in the row ahead of Mary comforted her and “verified the semen in her hair” (apparently she was some sort of an expert.)  The man was promptly arrested as soon as the plane landed.


Fucking airlines.  It is not enough that we have to be worried about terrorists, crying babies, weird diseases, crappy seats, fat people, smelly people, security lines etc. etc. etc… we have to worry about receiving an unwanted “money shot?”  Lets just hope that her jury is not filled with porno watching airline lovers because I doubt they will value this type of “release” at $200,000 plus punitives.  I bet Jenna Jameson would let you do it for a fraction of that cost.


March 18, 2008 - Posted by | news, random shite | , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. […] Oregon, stupid, Target One more story about public masturbation that is.  If you would recall, earlier this week I discussed the woman on the American Airlines flight who exp…  For some reason there seems to be an inexplicable spike in people involving strangers in their […]

    Pingback by one more for good measure… « The Uppity Bastard | March 20, 2008 | Reply

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