The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

now that is what I call getting a birdie

First off, I apologize for talking about a golf story, but this seemed too ridiculous to pass up. This guy Tripp Isenhour (sweet name dude), who is like the 5 millionth ranked player in the world (or 548th) just got charged with killing a bird. But he did not kill just any old bird, he killed a protected migratory hawk. AND, he killed it by hitting it with a golf ball. This “crime” carries with it a maximum penalty of 14 months in jail and a $1,500 fine.

Honestly, I don’t even think that this should be criminal. Do you know how hard it would be to actually connect with a bird by hitting a freaking golf ball. I mean I try to kick pigeons all the time and they seem to know I’m coming before I get there, I am never even close. And this is a HAWK, aren’t they a whole lot smarter than pigeons with better reactions?

Anyway, Tripp (seriously, what kind of name is this), claims that he was just trying to scare it away because it was distracting him as he was shooting some crappy TV show that no one will ever see. (mostly because it stars some guy named Tripp Isenhour). But very few people are buying his story. Probably because he shot at it numerous times when it was about 300 yards away before giving up. And then, because he really wanted to give that hawk a fright, shot at it again when it got about 75 yards away. Even allegedly saying (in a thick southern accent I presume) “I’ll get him now” as he aimed directly for the bird. Finally he connected and the bird fell to the ground BLEEDING OUT OF BOTH NOSTRILS. What the fuck!

Isenhour then stated that he is an animal lover, blah blah blah, and he only wanted to scare it, yada yada yada…no one cares. I find this hilarious and quite impressive. Allegedly the bird was buried at the golf course but later dug up by a Florida Investigator (identified as Sylvester).

To be perfectly honest with you, as funny and difficult as I find this “accident” I think that the video below blows it out of the water. This guywas definitely not trying to scare shit.

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March 8, 2008 - Posted by | sports | , , , , ,

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