The Uppity Bastard

Smug Life

this is why I never eat at Wendy’s

Note to self, NEVER EVER eat at Wendy’s in Florida. Well to be totally safe you should never eat at Wendy’s at all, I mean how can you trust a square hamburger?? But that is beside the point.

On Tuesday a 60 year old handyman identified as Alburn Edward Blake entered a West Palm Beach area Wendy’s and went straight to the restroom. This should have triggered immediate suspicion as most people have to hit the bathroom immediately after eating at Wendy’s. Blake exited the restroom and without warning fatally shot Rafael Vasquez, a paramedic who was just exchanging a kid’s meal toy. Blake then proceeded to fire more than 20 rounds throughout the restaurant wounding 4 more people before shooting himself in the head. Authorities still do not know what set this guy off, but most people are pretty sure that it is because he got too many of those gross brown crispy fries that no one likes.

OR, maybe he did not get enough condiments like this guy. Last May some totally stable individual was arguing with the drive through guy at a Miami Wendy’s because he wanted 10 packets of chili sauce and the limit supposedly was 3. Mr. Crazy eventually got the 10 packets that he wanted, but now he tasted victory (and delicious chili sauce) and decided to press his luck and demand even more. When the manager came to the window to inform Mr. Crazy that he got 10 and that is way more than he was supposed to, he responded in the rational way anyone would…he shot the manager in the arm. Mr. Crazy then fled away, chili sauce safely in tow. This may seem insane to you, but try Wendy’s chili sauce and tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing. One taste and you think you saw God.


March 6, 2008 - Posted by | random shite | , , , , , , , , ,

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