Nobody puts Swayze in a corner…except maybe cancer
Okay, this is a sad story, but to be fair it was reported by that most reputable news source (and presently NO ONE ELSE), The National Enquirer. Allegedly, Patrick Swayze, the hunky actor and star of Roadhouse, Dirty Dancing, Point Break and To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar(?? seriously Patrick??) has aggressive pancreatic cancer and less than 5 weeks to live. I really hope this is not true because its a terribly sad story. Thankfully, the Enquirer reported it and I think they are still convinced that Bigfoot is having tea and crumpets with the Loch Ness Monster, and they consider that serious news.
“stick with me Keanu and you will be rich and famous, even though you really lack any significant acting ability and more often than not appear beyond confused in your movies.”
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