what’s shepshepard’s girlfriend like?

I know you want to know….she’s a bitch. check it out:

this guy has way too much time on his hands

Somebody catalogued a bunch of picture-by-picture comparisons of Christian Bale and Kermit the Frog.

fantastic.

FUCK YEAH…pic edition

GETTING OLD IS AWESOME BECAUSE YOU GET TO WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT AND BE CRAZY AND NO ONE CAN SAY SHIT TO YOU, BUT ONCE YOU TURN INTO RONALD McDONALD IT MIGHT TO TIME TO END IT ALL. AND PLEASE GET OUT OF THE WAY OF MY CAR.

Revenge, sweet buttered Revenge

DAVID LETTERMAN REACTS TO NO JOHN McCAIN

and he’s not happy. On another note, I really dislike Paul Shaffer, what’s the deal with his laugh? Oh, wait, thats the really gay dude from Sex in the City.

check out the vid:

File this under the Greatest Idea EVER

exploding banana helmet

!!!

SFW (safe for work) XXX (naked time)

I posted some pics like this a long time ago.  This video is pretty awesome.

Weezy F. Baby – Sports Blogger

Were you aware that my man Lil Wayne has been given the opportunity to contribute a blog to Espn.com?  Pretty Sweet.  His first entry is out this week, and although it isn’t a particularly interesting read, he does mention that his Fantasy Football team is called the South Beach Sloths (your old pal UB’s favorite animal).

 

I RIDE FOR MY DOGS.

This Chick needs Sperm

This blogger chick is advertising on her site that she is in need of some baby gravy.

“ In less than two weeks, I will be ovulating, which as everyone should know is primetime for baby making.  The problem is that I don’t yet have a partner for this process. Now, I’m not looking for a source of child support or a baby-daddy in the sense that he should have any supportive role in the pregnancy or in raising the child, I just need some good, hearty seed. ”

 

Not a problem Miss, we here at Uppity Bastard are more than willing to help you during your time of need. We even provide you with some variety.  Look at these handsome Bastards:

 

the Uppity Bastard, c.1968

 

TurtleDog, file photo

 

ShepShepard, headshot

 

Expect a package within the next few days.  I’ll be using tupperware to keep everything nice and fresh.

Jesus Christ this is awful

This video was emailed to me a few times last week but I just now got around to watching it.  I will never doubt any of you again: